Friday, September 23, 2005


1:18 PM. Friday afternoon. I SHOULD be getting ready to go to Tuscaloosa. I'm REALLY pissed off at Tracey and I'm debating about going or not. Why am I so pissed? He was a complete and utter PRICK last night on the phone. And here is what happened.

When he found out he didn't have to go to North Carolina it was around 5 PM. So I was THRILLED. We had already talked about me going there. If I don't go there this weekend I won't see him until the weekend of our anniversary-October 27th. Later on last night he said he'd have to go and work at the design studio Friday night and I'd be there alone. I was in a hurry when he told me that so I didn't get a chance to say anything. After we got off the phone I got to thinking about that. Hold up, as Ged would say, he wasn't even going to BE HERE this fucking weekend and all of the sudden he has to go work at the fucking studio?

I didn't get a chance to talk to him again until around 10:30 pm. I said, "So what? You're going to get out of class, work in the shop until 5PM, let me in the apartment and fucking leave me there there until like 12 or 1am??" He said, "Yeah basically." I got pissed. So then I asked what the hell I was supposed to do for dinner. I've been to that fucking town one time. It's HUGE! I know fuck all about getting around there. So we're at least going to eat dinner. Anyway I said, "Ok if you have to go in Friday night that's fine I have shit to catch up on. At least we'll have all day Saturday and Sunday."

THEN IT BEGINS! He says not Sunday. I ask why. He says he's going to see Lauren. OK that's great! He hasn't seen Lauren since Christmas! They have invented every excuse in the book to keep him from seeing his daughter. I have no problem with that. I've been getting on him about getting tougher with Dawn about that shit. He said he was going to be leaving around 7:30 am. So I said, "Ok just let me sleep in." He flipped out. "No you have to go when I do." "Umm why?" "Because you can't lock up." "Why not? You think I'm not capable of turning a door knob?" "No it's a dead bolt and you'd have to do it with a key." "So Saturday go get me a key made."--Here is where he flipped the fuck out.

It got quite heated. I was so pissed. I mean come on! He won't let me fucking sleep in on Sunday! Won't give me a key so I can lock the fucking door when I leave. Hell I'd even give him the damn thing back Sunday afternoon when he passed back in town. He's going to be back in Oxford when he comes back from seeing Lauren! But NO! He'll let psychotic Richard fucking bum out at his place all last weekend who, BTW, drank all my cokes, but won't let his girlfriend of a year sleep in on Sunday morning! ASSHOLE!

Then he tried to pull one of those, "This is the rules" kind of things on me. I laughed sarcastically and said, "Do you have ANY clue who the hell you're talking to?? Because that shit won't fly with me." Direct TV is running this commercial where they show two Rams come flying at each other and smash horns. I was seeing this in my head while this shit was going on. Because Tracey and I have never had an honest to God fight. Last night wasn't pretty.

I said, "Look I just got told I STILL have cancer today. The last thing I need is you being a fucking asshole to me." So he suggested that he'd come here Saturday since it would make sense. They wouldn't be so rushed on Sunday if he was already here. I said no. He asked why. I said, "Honestly I don't want you here if all I'm going to hear is how much you hate the dogs. I don't need that shit right now." He said, "True. Major dog hateage."

So I said I'd just come there. Then he said, "Well, if you do when I get up on Sunday you have to get up too." What the hell does he think I'm going to do if he's not there??? Go rummage through all his shit or something? He won't be there for several hours tonight. If I wanted to do that I could. Not that I give a shit. Or if I had a key I'd just show up there unannounced? Hell, it's like trying to plan a UN Summit meeting trying to coordinate out schedules. He's fucking stupid if he thinks that. So then I got even more pissed off and said, "Well, if there some reason you don't want me there alone? Is there something I'm not supposed to know?" Of course he said no.

I finally got off the phone and came home. Then had to call Angela and tell her what his dumbass did. Then I went to bed and still woke up pissed off. Still pissed off enough to debate on even going. I came so close to telling him to fuck off for good last night.

1:57 PM. Ok I'm going to call him and if he's being a prick I'm not going. Where the hell does that silly little Ram get off dictating to this Ram Queen??!?!?